The story concerns the holiday tour of a family of lunatics...Little do they know that it is their last holiday Muahahaha(or) and they end up taking a tour out of this world...(or) they take an eternal holiday from life[ okay im gonna stop doing that]
They find a holiday house at some unknown place in India where there is a deserted beach and a very densely populated jungle adjoining it, so there is a bungalow in the middle of this jungle cum beach, and there is this real estate dealer who deals in real estate in an area in the middle of the jungle cum beach, but frankly i find it hard to believe that he is a real estate agent when he knows nothing about the house except where the bedrooms are. But considering that the family is lunatic, he fares better. The little girl keeps staring at crows and lizards and the small boy who keeps blabbering things that we all know , trying to be innocent are all characters who deserve to be killed on screen, hence the movie...
And so it begins... the children are playing in the beach and they stumble onto the jungle where they find a really cute doll which they carry back home and since they have absolutely no other toys to play with all their attention is paid to the doll. And here is the unexpected twist to the story... the doll that they find is actually possessed.
Enter the Sister of the hero with a Husband who I am not really sure whether is an american or an indian. Taking into accounts his clothes and Awesome Antique Camera, he seems an american tourist. Cutting straight to the crap, there is this ghost that decides to kill the family.
The ghost first appears in the doll, and according to the rules of classic soul transfer, it later occupies the body of the hero's wife. And she threatens to kill all his loved ones one by one. Now that's a sadistic jobless ghost. And so she lives up to her promise and starts killing all that the hero loves, starting with the Watchman and the Housemaid. Apparently, he loved them. Now this leads one to question the nature of the hero's relationship with the two deceased.
As usual, there is a Magician with red eyes and traditional attire, who seems to know everything and seems he can control every ghost EXCEPT this one ghost. And so he is confronted by the doll, and let me remind you... The doll kicks ass.... Frankly speaking if I were ever beaten up by a DOLL, I would commit suicide, better that the magician was killed by the doll itself.
Next target is the sister, here is where you get a good clear view of the ghost for a full ten seconds after which the face appears to be just a normal neighbourhood face which does not really scare you later on.
And here are some rules that should have been followed but each of them were broken:
http://www.savageresearch.com/humor/horrorMovieRules.html
The story ends when the hero who is stabbed 3 times with a knife fights off the ghost when his possessed wife attacks her own child, the hero is forced to kill her.: SOB :SOB
End of part 2.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Paatshala - get educated
As suggested by the title, I already feel a bit more educated... do not go to a movie just cos nana patekar is there.... this movie is about a school, set in mumbai... nothing special about the school except that there are only two standards in the school, the II standard and XII standard..... the rest of the standards do not seem to be present, fair enough, it has a faculty of about 12 people, out of which one is a nutritionist, a post that seems very necessary.... yea but thats cos she is the heroine... the rest of the stuff includes a PT teacher who is never seen playing any sport at all, but is keen on delivering dialogues.... and then there is the usual psychotic physics teacher blabbering about NASA.... there is also a hindi teacher who talks completely in hindi in the first scene... strangely she seems to have forgotten that she has to keep it up in the subsequent scenes... to head all these stereotype lunatics is the stereotypical principal (nana patekar) who never smiles....
enter hero shahid kapoor-english teacher.... a girl student takes instant interest in him, but this gay ba5!3rd seems more interested in the boys of the school, shaking hands and hugging them a bit too much... going on to the classes, shahid takes a music class- the children have a lot of fun while he plays the guitar... all the while they are Learning music[:P].... i cud not really comprehend how dey were learning music while listening to someone play....
note to shahid : U R NOT AAMIR KHAN....
And then there is the ugly kid at school... who has no friends and is friends with a bitch ( as in female dog)... shahid decides to change his life... the next day he keeps an exhibit of little puppies and the children flock to them, they are chased away by that bitch... but the ugly guy seems to bond with the puppies very well... then the following scene happens :
Shahid : look at how he bonds with the dogs. all dogs understand him...
Children : we too understand him and we too want to bond with him ... :hurray :yahoo
Now seriously, what part of this conversation did they not understand??? dogs understand him... 2 seconds later, children are dying to understand him... incomprehensible to me....
There is also the watchman who has studied upto the 5th standard.... OMG!!!!
this guy gives a speech about how he tried so hard and studied upto the fifth standard.... he travelled many kilometres every day to get to his school, fought wild animals on the way and did this twice everyday and he studied...and he was thankful to that... why wud one be thankful to something like that ?????(bill cosby stand up)....
Now move on to the core story.... the school management decides to raise the fees in order to make the students quit, so that they could sell the land to real estate.... so they introduce a talent show in the school.... HATS OFF to them... trying to chase away children by organising a talent show....
In one of the shows, a child comes up and starts a cookery show... he is expected to say two lines... JUST TWO LINES.... he is not able to deliver the dialogue.... and he is chucked out... but starts crying all of a sudden about how he stayed up all night memorising his lines... What the heck?? if he cannot memorise even two lines, i really dont see him being able to perform a cookery show... hence another child replaces him....and by accident chilli powder falls into the child's eyes... and the teacher reacts as if superman has been struck by kryptonite... the cameraman meanwhile has it all recorded for the show 'planet's most funniest videos'....
To fight against all these atrocities(so called atrocities).... the students strike against the school... this creates a sensation for the media.... I never knew we could get media attention so easily... and so since these students strike, there is so much pressure on the Government... they take the case up in the parliament....OMG!!!!!... I know our politicians are jobless, but not to such an extent... and since there is so much media coverage with all news channels flocking to cover the strike of barely a hundred students.... the EDUCATION MINISTER feels that his party's outcome would be affected in the next elections... so he pressurises the management... and so the principal decides to resign.... one more day and it would have become a national emergency... thank god...
In the end, the principal reveals what the problem was actually... he doesent actually give any solution to the problem... but his very inspiring(read boring) speech signifies the end of the movie.... now it was time to wake up and leave the theatre...
enter hero shahid kapoor-english teacher.... a girl student takes instant interest in him, but this gay ba5!3rd seems more interested in the boys of the school, shaking hands and hugging them a bit too much... going on to the classes, shahid takes a music class- the children have a lot of fun while he plays the guitar... all the while they are Learning music[:P].... i cud not really comprehend how dey were learning music while listening to someone play....
note to shahid : U R NOT AAMIR KHAN....
And then there is the ugly kid at school... who has no friends and is friends with a bitch ( as in female dog)... shahid decides to change his life... the next day he keeps an exhibit of little puppies and the children flock to them, they are chased away by that bitch... but the ugly guy seems to bond with the puppies very well... then the following scene happens :
Shahid : look at how he bonds with the dogs. all dogs understand him...
Children : we too understand him and we too want to bond with him ... :hurray :yahoo
Now seriously, what part of this conversation did they not understand??? dogs understand him... 2 seconds later, children are dying to understand him... incomprehensible to me....
There is also the watchman who has studied upto the 5th standard.... OMG!!!!
this guy gives a speech about how he tried so hard and studied upto the fifth standard.... he travelled many kilometres every day to get to his school, fought wild animals on the way and did this twice everyday and he studied...and he was thankful to that... why wud one be thankful to something like that ?????(bill cosby stand up)....
Now move on to the core story.... the school management decides to raise the fees in order to make the students quit, so that they could sell the land to real estate.... so they introduce a talent show in the school.... HATS OFF to them... trying to chase away children by organising a talent show....
In one of the shows, a child comes up and starts a cookery show... he is expected to say two lines... JUST TWO LINES.... he is not able to deliver the dialogue.... and he is chucked out... but starts crying all of a sudden about how he stayed up all night memorising his lines... What the heck?? if he cannot memorise even two lines, i really dont see him being able to perform a cookery show... hence another child replaces him....and by accident chilli powder falls into the child's eyes... and the teacher reacts as if superman has been struck by kryptonite... the cameraman meanwhile has it all recorded for the show 'planet's most funniest videos'....
To fight against all these atrocities(so called atrocities).... the students strike against the school... this creates a sensation for the media.... I never knew we could get media attention so easily... and so since these students strike, there is so much pressure on the Government... they take the case up in the parliament....OMG!!!!!... I know our politicians are jobless, but not to such an extent... and since there is so much media coverage with all news channels flocking to cover the strike of barely a hundred students.... the EDUCATION MINISTER feels that his party's outcome would be affected in the next elections... so he pressurises the management... and so the principal decides to resign.... one more day and it would have become a national emergency... thank god...
In the end, the principal reveals what the problem was actually... he doesent actually give any solution to the problem... but his very inspiring(read boring) speech signifies the end of the movie.... now it was time to wake up and leave the theatre...
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